That moment when someone tells you, you may never have children...

I had just turned 22 when the doctor called me during dinner with the results of my lab work; I had PCOS and I had it in both ovaries quite badly. I turned around with the phone in my hand, and saw my husband sitting at the coffee table enjoying his meal. I said thank you to my gynecologist and hung up the phone.

Now, let's backtrack for a moment and try to make some sense as to how, and why I got to this point. When I was 15 years old my mother found out that I was messing around with my highschool boyfriend of the time. It was some very innocent groping while the parents were out of eyesight. Needless to say she popped her lid and took me right to the doctor to get put on birth control. When I think back upon it I realize that I never had regular menstrual cycles. It was always sporadic, and was not until I started BC that it actually seemed to regulate back to normal.

Well, after almost 7 years on 4 different kinds of contraceptives I finally married the man of my dreams. He was in the Navy, and I was embarking on an incredible journey that I had never even imagined. After 4 months of marriage I graduated college, and he moved me down to Virginia to officially live in wedded bliss. Almost immediately after arriving here we both came to the conclusion that it was time to stop BC and if we were meant to have children, then so be it. Then we noticed that there was a flaw in that plan: I stopped getting my periods altogether. Now I don't mean that I would get one every so often  and then spot; oh no, I literally didn't get another one again. So of course now that I am on Tricare I made an appointment with a gyno in the area who comes highly recommended. She does some bloodwork and she takes photos of my uterus. As you well know, she diagnoses me with PCOS. Alot of things make sense now.

I look her right in the eye and ask her if this means I can't get pregnant. She doesn't even hesitate in telling me that there is no reason I shouldn't be able to conceive and that it just simply may take longer than I had planned. Wonderful! I go home feeling relieved and confident that I will be a mother. Well, then I go and do something that I now advise EVERYONE who is struggling with infertility NOT TO DO. I went online and started doing research, and started asking random strangers what their experiences were. To sum it up, that was an awful idea, and made me worry about things that should never have crossed my mind. To hear stories about women TTC for over 7 years with no luck, is not something I needed.

I have made it my personal goal to stay away from internet research, and just simply follow doctors orders. I am making some health changes and lifestyle changes. I am starting fertility drugs, and am keeping faith. I may have been given some tough news, but I refuse to allow that to stop me from what I desire, and deserve!