Let me start this off by saying that I am very aware that there are women out there who have been TTC for a very long time, and if they heard me complaining about one failed month they might just want to slap me. I know this; and trust me I acknowledge my ridiculousness at points. However, with that being said, we all know that EVERY single month you get a negative pregnancy test is just as heartbreaking as the last 10.
Can I vent alittle? I am so sick and tired of people telling me that "it will happen when it's supposed to happen." No actually it won't. I do not get periods on my own, and I certainly do not ovulate on my own. So how is it supposed to "just happen?" No, I unfortunately (as well as many others) have to plan every single move, and know every day what is happening with my body. The doc started me out on some Provera to get my cycle jumpstarted. I took those little white pills for 10 days. Literally the day after I took the last little guy my monthly came! Woo, what a surprise! I hadn't seen that friend in a long time. Alright, so then I had to start counting that as day 1 and track my cycle. On day 5 I began taking clomid, which is a drug to help you ovulate. I had to take clomid for day 5-9 of my cycle. I bought some of those exspensive clearblue digital ovulation tests, and began checking in the morning as soon as I started clomid. What do you know, on day 11 I get a positive ovulation test! I ran through the house screaming and grabbed my husband. It was baby dancing time!!!!!!!!
After all the fun was over I then went back and read the instructions that come with the tests. Uh oh. It clearly says on the box that if you have PCOS then the results may not be accurate. Crap...
So to remedy the situation hubs and I Baby danced once everyday. We felt pretty good about ourselves, and made an appointment with doc to get my blood drawn!! Would this be my lucky month, would I only need one single round of treatments?
Unfortunately, no. This was not our month; and the drugs were a failure. I put part of the blame on myself for simply believing in a pee stick to give me so much hope. Those tests are for normal women who have normal cycles. Yeah, dummy!
I think it is needless to say that I was devastated. Those negative results really kicked my ass. I didn't even want to get out of bed that day, and luckily I had a husband who was right there by my side. I then woke up the next day, and realized that it was only one month. One single month that I have tried so far and been unsuccessful. There is no reason to be giving up hope so quickly!
I am waiting to hear back from doc about when we can start round 2, and this time I am going to pay alot more attention to things. Not only will I do ovulation tests everyday, but I will also track my BBT(Basal Body Temperature) to see if they are matching up. I refuse to quit this fight.
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