It has been a few weeks since I was last able to write. Things got very busy for me, as my husband and I had our first big PCS to Norfolk Va! We have a beautiful home, and I am now working again. I feel good about myself, and happy that I can contribute. My husband has since reported to his first ship, and is starting to get into the swing of things. We are....content. However, there is still this huge void in our lives, and it does not seem to be filling anytime soon :(
I just finished my second round of provera and clomid, and yet again it was unsuccessful. This time around I knew in my heart not to get excited, and to expect little. Thankgod, because when I saw that negative pregnancy test again my heart didn't brake as much as last time. I can't explain how, but something in me knows that clomid is just not working for me. I feel as though we need to dig deeper, and maybe even start looking into procedures. Who knows...
One of the greatest things about this new duty station is that they have an entire infertility clinic on base!! I have heard wonderful things about them, and even have a good friend who was able to get pregnant with their help. My first appointment is next week, and I am so incredibly anxious! I just don't know what to expect. I know that it is unrealistic to assume that they will just magically have me pregnant within the next month, but without hope I wouldn't get anywhere. My husband deploys early next year, so we have a little bit of time to try and accomplish this! Sure there will be several underways in between that time, but I am determined to not give up and keep pushing through!
This whole trying to think positively thing seems to be working more than ever! I tell myself everyday that some things are out of my control, and that whatever happens is always for the best. Climbing that ladder though!
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